Am I doing this right??: How to filter all of the parenting advice

Drowning in a Sea of Information

Sometimes, it feels like we’re drowning in a sea of well-intentioned advice. You scroll through social media and every feed has a different answer for what you should be doing. Gentle parenting, passive parenting, attachment parenting—they often intersect, yet also conflict with each other. How are you supposed to know which one is the "right" one? When to apply which technique or skill? We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, as if one misstep could somehow ruin our child forever.

But what about the moments the feeds don't talk about? The moments you accidentally yell at your kid because they're not listening, and you’ve already asked them (thrice!) to put on their shoes. In those moments, it can feel like you're failing. But you're not. In fact, it is even more important in that moment and perhaps even outside the moment, to acknowledge your behavior and apologize. You're showing your child that you're human, and in doing so, you're actually helping them to become more well-rounded humans themselves. You are strengthening your connection to them in those moments of repair. 

Your Inner Compass

If you are feeling lost, try to give yourself a break. All of the parenting books, theories, and podcasts are great, but they are not the be-all and end-all. Not following everything in them doesn't mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Your most powerful parenting tool is your own parental intuition. This isn’t something you can get from a book or a podcast; it's already inside of you. You are the true expert on your own family—no one else is.

Tips for Tapping into Your Intuition

It's one thing to know your intuition is important and another thing to actually listen to it. In a world full of noise, here are some tips to help you tune in.

• Silence the Noise: Give yourself permission to unfollow social media accounts that make you feel less than or create unrealistic expectations. It’s also okay to kindly set boundaries with well-meaning family and friends by saying something like, "Thanks for the advice, but we're trying a different approach."

• Practice Mindful Observation: Instead of trying to follow a specific theory, simply watch your child and pay attention to what feels right. Is this particular parenting method making you or your child feel more stressed? Does a different approach seem to bring peace to your home? Notice the difference in your child’s behavior and in your own emotional state.

• Check in with Yourself: When faced with a decision, encourage yourself to pause and connect with your body. Ask yourself, "How does this choice make me feel? Does it make me feel calm or anxious?" Your body's physical reaction can be a powerful guide, helping you connect with your gut feelings.

You Are the Expert of Your Family

There is no single "right" way to parent. The right way is the one that feels authentic to you and fosters a loving, secure environment for your child. By trusting your own inner wisdom, you are modeling self-trust for your kids, which is one of the most valuable lessons you can teach them.