Does your kid cry at drop-off?: Easier goodbyes with your kids

Do you find yourself dreading drop-off at daycare or school because you know your child is going to lose it, kicking and screaming until you have to pry them off of you? It's a truly tough way to part from your kid. We aren't wired to feel okay leaving our children when they're crying, and it's completely normal to feel a gut-punch of sadness, frustration, or even anger after you hand them over. You now have to put yourself back together to get to work or your other obligations for the day, and it's draining.

You are not doing anything wrong. This difficult stage is a normal developmental milestone for young kids. Their tears are just a way of telling you that they're sad you're leaving, but that they know they'll be okay. This behavior is actually a beautiful sign of a secure attachment to you—they want to be with you because you are their comfort person. But they can and will find comfort in other caregivers, too, if we allow them the space to form those new, secure attachments.

Making Goodbyes Easier

While it's a difficult stage, you can make these drop-offs smoother. The most important thing to remember is that this won't last forever. In the meantime, try these ideas:

• Make Your Routine Consistent: Stick to a quick and consistent drop-off routine. Without lingering, help them take their outside gear off and move through the motions of your goodbye. Work with their caregiver to establish a routine that works for everyone.

• Create a Goodbye Ritual: Establish a special and quick goodbye ritual that they can count on. It could be a specific hug, a special handshake, or a kiss on their palm that they can "hold on to" for the day. You can also incorporate books like The Invisible String or rituals like drawing a small heart on both your hand and your child's hand.

• Trust the Process: Remember that caregivers are very good at handling these situations and will often have ideas to help. They know your child will stop crying very quickly after you leave and will redirect their attention to something else.

  
  

The Final Word: You Are Enough

Remember that you are doing a great job, and your child's tears are simply a sign of how safe and loved they feel with you. You are showing them that you can be trusted to always come back, which is one of the most valuable lessons you can teach them. You are always with them even when you're apart, and you always come back.